I loved your point about notoriety and impact. It made me think, a person like that is only special while others are thinking about them. Why are the actions of a creator more meaningful than the reactions of an observer? I've once played for an audience of 1000, and put my heart and soul into my music, but you could have replaced me with hundreds of other young violinists and the audience would hear the same thing. Now because of covid I sit here and play music in my room alone. Why is one moment better than the other? I have nothing to do really with what made the live performance special. The audience did 1000x more.

I almost wish I could give you some optimism about daily activities. I think the purpose of life is to embody your fundamental identity and to simply move forward. Why? Because every human being will experience confusion and aimlessness in some form without that. Also, it is the perfectly natural thing to do, as you alluded to in your comments about free time. If humans had unlimited free time and resources, they would naturally express their fundamental identities and stagnation would be impossible. Only our reactions to the constraints around our lives so often produces stagnation and inauthentic motivations. However, I believe knowledge of your fundamental identity will guide your actions no matter what situation you are in, even one filled with constraints. It's much deeper than just narrow interests and aptitudes, to the point where you may be able to find a single word that describes your fundamental identity. I think you are moving forward based on this blog post. I'm not saying it will make life easy and smooth and painless. But it means you can truly never hit a dead end.